Written on August 25th, 2021
"You could NEVER pass as a BOY, even with a mustache!" The response to my pleading that with my straw farm hat, purchased in Ann Arbor, Michigan last summer, clad with purple/yellow grass from my friend Ted's neighboring lot, I was cowboy-ish, made indistinguishable gender-wise, "gender-fluid" like, a real attractive male or a feminine-leaning boy. At least that was how I saw it, she was not convinced. Dven if I was wearing the cowboy hat, the denim/courdoroy pants, not even close. Neither a compliment or an insult, just as it is.
So tonight was my first night hosting at the local cafe/restaurant, hang out in the small town of Dubois, Wyoming. Cowboy Cafe, with it's low ceilings, funky dimmed yellow lighting, wooden booths and walls, swinging doors, loud crazy kitchen and guests from all over the world. You really do feel transported to another time. The true Wild West. Stopped in time, for a moment amidst the desert landscapes and wide open spaces. Music playing from the early '90s, then a hit from 2004, then throwback to the '80s. And we're in 2021. Late August, in fact. Are we sure?
Whatever the case, the environment, service, and food does not disappoint. I had my first meal there just under a week ago after hearing rave reviews about it, and also the more limited selection of eateries in town. Having traveled the world and lived in New York City, one gets a sort of radar for quality and vibe, and the Cowboy does not disappoint. Almost every place is hiring these days, so up to you where you want to put your time and your energy. We are still in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic and some people wearing masks, The food is great, service quick and friendly, and the environment all what you'd expect from a Wild West saloon. And what a riot it was. I spent nearly the whole shift cracking up at the absurdity of the experience. Running here and there, attempting to keep my composure and ground amidst the snake eyed bandits who desire to whisk you away. Complimenting you on your smile and comparing your face and stature to the Not too sure what is keeping me here or what there is for me to do or discover about these parts, a real stopping point, a trading post of sorts way out here in the badlands, headwaters, vision quest land... ohhh!!! That's what we're doing out here! I am a healing musician/horsewhisperer on the lands.
Work harder not smarter, nope, work SMARTER not HARDER is what she says. Sage, my friend/acquaintance/high school middle school elementary parallel kindred spirit. That's the reason I'm out here really. I kept running into her parents and having visions of similar things and places and not too sure what it' s all about. And there's the eyes, the protection, the spirit, the capture, the captive? It's hard to say. I really find it all so fascinating, the twirling swirling back and forth and time traveling. That's what it is really. Traveling through time. I guess I had the feeling that I was a cowboy, many lives many masters, so it' s all me. And I am not so sure what it means or what it all looks like, alls I know is (in my grandpa's voice, we called him Pop-Pop and he TOTALLY belongs in this fairy tale Visionquest western hinter land tale) that I had the feeling to work with horses and it was confirmed in the cards. I literally pulled a tarot card with two horses, a dark and light coated, standing in front of a log-ish cabin. And so there's that -ish. It's like you say it but not completely and so you just add the -ish to show that it' s not completely 100%
"I could totally be a cowboy? Cowgirl? You can't really tell, right?"
"That's like totally unnatural," claims Sage in response to my look, middle-part, long hair pony tail tied up to the side, as opposed to wearing my hat while hosting at the local joint downtown. The hat makes it, it' s everything really. You HAVE to wear it.
I stopped through at 5:55 AM this morning, Tuesday, August 24th (it's already the 25th now as a scramble to get down into words, or word process all the info and story of this evening) and the owner, making pounds upon pounds of bacon. She took a huge spatula and just kept on moving them through, stopping for nothing, not even to meet with me for a few moments. She is dedicated. She wears Dansko. Supposedly it means that you're committed. I don't know if I'm there yet. So I stopped through at 5:55, told her I'm looking for work, I could serve, host, whatever was needed, she said it was perfect because their one host was leaving today, so I could come in at 5 PM to shadow. Booked, done!I came through at 5 PM and hopped right in. There was the prep station where I was for a minute, the cleaning/cooking/grill station where I walked right through, and then the floor, where I was. My place. On the stage like, yet not really.
Sage keeps claiming "It's all temporary" yet I actually think "it's all forever" really, and it's all now, so, yea, I get it's temporary, but what makes it the most powerful for me is that everyone is everyone, or something like that, everyone is me. So then, what's the big deal if I want to sing in front of them, or speak in Spanish, or dance or write or share my thoughts and journals and photos. What's the big deal? I guess there is no big deal except me giving myself permission to let it out, to create, to let loose and allow things to flow, that's all there is. All the stories are there waiting... and fading! Because they do, so it is of utmost importance that we tell the stories and keep the soul alive, keep the vision, the places, the PEOPLE alive. That's the truth of it. We live on in stories, in words, in memories, in places, in faces that remember.
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Other notes to expand on and remember:
Cleaned it all, cleanliness is godliness.
"You ready to take it on?"The evening Hostess shift.
Kurt, from the Antler shop saw me playing music at the Honey House on Wyoming TV or internet reel. Wanted my signature, he'll send me the video.
Group of men in DuBois fishing, they thought I was the native actress from Dances with Wolves, I thought they saw the video of me playing music, they asked me to play but I didn't have my Uke. I brought it the following night while working at the Cowboy Cafe, the fishing dudes showed up and I played for the full house. Made $50 from one song! Doubled my nightly tips!
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